One Blog in September

2002-10-01T01:37:00.000+10:00

COLLINGWOOD FANS have been going through pain in the last few days. One fan has had an injury to go with the insult.

2002-09-30T00:29:00.000+10:00

PEOPLE WHO don't follow sports cannot understand how crushing it usually is when your team loses an important game. And even people who do follow sports might struggle to understand the reaction in Melbourne to Collingwood's loss.

It's a kind of ecstatic despair. Collingwood fans remained at the MCG long after the Grand Final ended (rather than quickly leave, as is traditional for followers of losing teams). They've called radio talk shows and flooded newspaper letters pages with praise for their defeated players. Distraught about losing to Brisbane, they are proud beyond measure of Collingwood's performance.

Here's why: against the best team in the AFL, Collingwood – written off by almost every commentator in the land – came within nine points of winning. More important than the score was that few failures of skill (and no failures of will) were evident. It was heroic.

As was, for that matter, Brisbane's effort in resisting Collingwood. Brisbane, it may quickly be forgotten, were playing with only one ruckman after the first quarter, and were at the MCG for only the third time this season, in wet, slimy conditions that cannot have been to their advantage. As well, umpiring decisions favoured Collingwood, yet still Brisbane prevailed.

The miracle of 2002 might not be Collingwood's near-win, but Brisbane's actual win. Given similar injury problems and arena disadvantages, no other team in the AFL could have halted Collingwood; likewise, no other team than Collingwood could have pushed Brisbane as hard.

Collingwood coach Mick Malthouse's extraordinary reaction to the defeat was in keeping with an extraordinary day. Very rarely in elite sports does a team play so well yet still lose – and to a deserving victor.

Collingwood proved that there can be victory (of a kind) in defeat. I feel privileged to be among the team's supporters. They'll have earned many more after Saturday.

2002-09-29T02:34:00.000+10:00

THE PRIDE OF BRISBANE TOWN have saved the nation from a rampage of Collingwood fans making a disgrace of themselves.

The game itself was magnificent- the inclement weather prevented the Brisbane Lions from running away with it, and Collingwood's hardness of body and mind was awesome. However, the Lions proved themselves to be the strongest side since the Hawthorn Express of the late 1980's.

My Match Highlights?
Keating's stellar performance in the ruck for Brisbane after Beau McDonald went off early.
Nathan Buckley and Michael Voss. Captains with a capital C.
The gun forwards, Rocca and Lynch.
Ferocious tackling.
Mickey crying.

Maulthouse proud of Collingwood.

"We are now a great team"

Buckley wins the Norm Smith Medal

Both sides complain about the umpires. Brisbane- Collingwood

2002-09-28T00:53:00.000+10:00

TIM BLAIR AND GARETH PARKER are in Melbourne ready for the big game- so I'm manning the decks here online. Hopefully all set for a ten goal thrashing of Collingwood. Mr Parker promises a full match report, and if Mr Blair can be coaxed into writing a few words, we'll post that too.

Of course, if Collingwood win, he won't need any coaxing.

Anyway, I'm off to watch the Fox Footy Channell Grand Final marathon. Go Brisbane!

2002-09-26T09:29:00.000+10:00

THE AFL have really lost the plot with this year’s Grand Final entertainment.

I applauded them a few weeks ago for re-introducing the Grand Final sprint and kicking comp.

But these worthy activities have taken a back seat to performers who have little or no connection with footy.

Take Killing Heidi for example, a band fronted by a pair of anaemic pin cushions who as young ’uns would rather stay indoors and listen to the hippy music of their parents than kick a footy around in the invigorating, fresh country air of their home town:

“Their interest in music began early - one gets the sense that the after-school alternatives, football and netball, left them cold.”

Then there’s The Whitlams, a Sydney band who take their name from our worst ever Prime Minister, a band who sing songs about exterminating the average footy fan’s favourite punting vice.

Next they have Mark Seymour, a whiny dud who once protested against the Formula One Grand Prix but did a remarkable back flip when the price was right.

He of the remarkable about-face is now singing a song which, according to the AFL website, “was not penned about football”.

And last, but by no means least worthy of this rabble of half-baked "musos" (and I write that with the utter contempt that one is entitled to have when one can nail every single one of Ace Frehley's solos from KISS Alive and KISS Alive II), there is Kate Ceberano, a fruitcake devotee of a nutty religion.

Surely the AFL shouldn’t be embracing a heretic who dares follow anything but the one true religion?

When is a decent band like TISM going to get a gig at the AFL Grand Final?

By Jiminey, their lead singer is even named after an Aussie Rules legend!

2002-09-25T02:59:00.000+10:00

EVER WONDERED what Tim Blair is REALLY like? Leapin Larry L gives this classic description of the Collingwood fan-
"The television coverage on Saturday afternoon offered compelling evidence of how crazy Pie-Wood fans are. Every last one of them from eight to 80 had the “nobody home” glassy stare of complete fanaticism. You couldn’t get a shot of any Collingwood fan after a goal where they weren’t giving the familiar “two beers, thanks” gesture to their nearest Adelaide counterparts, except when it was a “one beer” order, or they betrayed their ethnic background with the more comprehensive, but equally familiar, Mediterranean gesture involving the use of both arms. "

Model citizens, I'm sure.

2002-09-24T18:07:00.000+10:00

THERE'S BEEN no mention of this yet on any of the wires or at the News Ltd or Fairfax sites, but apparently a colossal bungle has occurred in the production of this year's Grand Final edition of the Football Record.

All the Collingwood player photographs are - according to radio reports - accompanied by text that refers to Carlton players.

Hmmm ... bungle or sabotage?

Omen watch: the AFL had to alter cover mockups of the 1990 Footy Record when Collingwood and the West Coast Eagles played a draw in the first week of the finals, pushing the Grand Final date back to October.

2002-09-23T23:40:00.000+10:00

OBIS INSTAQUIZ:

Two players who competed in the 1990 Grand Final will be on the field during the 2002 Grand Final. Can you name them? Well, can you?

Answers tomorrow.

2002-09-23T23:39:00.000+10:00

MAYBE YOU don't have a team playing in the Grand Final. Perhaps you live in Adelaide, and cannot bear to even think about the Grand Final.

For you people, a special treat: enjoy a rousing game of Crab Ball!

2002-09-22T13:44:00.000+10:00

ALL THE NEWS you need to read, at your one-stop Pie Shop! Here are the highlights from today's papers:

Say it slowly - very slowly - because it does not make sense when you first hear it: Collingwood is in the Grand Final.

On this day, Collingwood earned its place in the September sun.

Collingwood stormed into its first Grand Final in 12 years and kept alive Victoria's hopes of securing this year's Premiership.

From the outside, Collingwood's ascent to the grand final looked like a miracle, which was why the wondrous strains of thousands of singing supporters still carried into the Magpies' rooms beneath the MCG last night an hour after the final siren.

Adelaide's dream of a third AFL crown in six years is over, scuttled by an inspired Collingwood in the premiership quarter at the MCG yesterday.

The Magpie Army had assembled at Richmond station at 1.30 for their march to the ground. Looking like a pack of feral Hare Krishnas in black and white, they were led, chanting and singing, by a man in a gold jacket.

The Magpies can win it - that is the message from vanquished Adelaide captain Mark Ricciuto after the Magpies marched to their first Grand Final in 12 years yesterday.

Fraser last night confessed he had feared coach Mick Malthouse would drop him from the Collingwood team as his poor form lingered into the finals. "I'm not going to lie to you. The thought had crossed my mind," he said after the Magpies won their way into next Saturday's grand final by 28 points.

The Crows have enjoyed some high times in a variety of MCG dressing rooms in recent years. Last night will not number among them … Beaten, they were almost to a man bruised as well. Some so badly they would not have been around next week no matter what the result.

Collingwood defender Jason Cloke's grand final dream is on the verge of collapse after he was reported for striking Adelaide's Tyson Edwards during the second quarter yesterday.

Can life get any sweeter for the Magpies? Four years ago the club was almost broke, now it has $1 million in the bank and is one of just three Victorian clubs that will record a profit this season. Malthouse said it was the performance of the entire club that had achieved this.

Malthouse said last night that his team now believed it was good enough to be playing in the biggest game of the year but conceded he had not dared think that far ahead at the start of the season.

The fans were back in full voice and the noise became deafening at the 13-minute mark when Anthony Rocca launched a trademark 60m bomb from inside the square to stretch the lead to three goals.

2002-09-22T02:28:00.000+10:00

WELL, I GUESS my credibility as a on-field pundit is trashed. I'm just glad I got the tip about Port Adelaide wrong. It would have been hell on Earth here in Adelaide if the Power had got through to the Grand Final.

2002-09-22T02:13:00.000+10:00

PATRICK SMITH'S LATEST ruminations about football economics

"We have created an unsustainable economy. The 16 clubs have created a micro-economy of greed and irresponsibility. The clubs alone have controlled the finances that dictate how much money coaches are paid. Malcolm Blight was paid $1 million to coach St Kilda. The club continues to record losses. Carlton will pay Denis Pagan $2 million over three years, while it has a debt of $9 million and may lose more than $500,000 this year.
It is madness. The AFL has plans to introduce a ceiling on football department spending. It is warmly supported by clubs such as West Coast and Richmond, but shunned by the likes of Collingwood, Essendon and Geelong.
But surely it is worth consideration. The AFL will finalise its position over summer. Geelong chief executive Brian Cook argues that you cannot legislate competent managerial practices. He argues clubs must learn the ability to say “no”. Fair enough, too, but that little word has appeared in the vocabularies of few football administrators.
What is undeniable is this: That coaches are overpaid. If their money was cut significantly, not one would be lost to the system because even on their reduced salaries they could not find jobs that paid that well outside the AFL. As Cook said, clubs are their own worst enemy."

I have argued elsewhere in favour of salary caps, however, I'm not sure whether or not extending the caps off field is a good idea.

This boils down to the essence of coaching. A club can make up for player deficiencies by having a great coach. I have felt for a while that North Melbourne are a 5 place better team then their list because of the wisdom and leadership of Dennis Pagan. By that reckoning, Carlton will finish 11th next year. While a salary cap and draft provide a theoretically level playing field, it then becomes of paramount importance for the football department to give a club the decisive edge. And the coaches that can really turn a club around are in very short supply, and the clubs that have them are always keen to keep them. This creates a supply/demand imbalance that of course leads to exploding salaries, just as it does in unregulated player markets.

Smith continues-
"...Eddie McGuire and Mick Malthouse have rebuilt a team and a club. McGuire’s passion for the Pies has reignited the lust for the club within his supporters. Malthouse has got Collingwood to a preliminary final when everybody, especially Port Adelaide, thought it impossible."

But, would McGuire have been able to hire Malthouse if there was a salary cap on footballing departments?.

I fear one of the effects of imposing a salary cap on footballing departments will be to preserve the clubs with excellent footballing departments and make it far harder for clubs that are trying to rebuild to do so. It often takes big bikkies to make a coach move on. The effect of a new regime can be dramatic- look at Adelaide 1996 and Adelaide 1997. The rise of Brisbane and Collingwood is another example. I'm alright Jack, my club's in great shape, on and off the field. But you'd be spitting if you were a Sydney or Richmond fan, wouldn't you?

Salary caps don't work without a draft to go with them. How do you draft a coach?

2002-09-22T01:57:00.000+10:00

A DARK DAY for Adelaide fans, but well done to Collingwood, who played good solid finals football. They will be worthy runners up to the Brisbane Lions.

2002-09-21T17:36:00.000+10:00

COLLINGWOOD: 13.13 91. Who dares to doubt my awesome predictive powers?

2002-09-20T23:11:00.000+10:00

A FEW DAYS before Collingwood destroyed Essendon in the 1990 Grand Final, I wrote a little newspaper item about the magnificent omens indicating a Magpie victory. The number 13 loomed everywhere:

•It had been 13 years since Collingwood had played in the drawn 1977 Grand Final, the closest we'd come to victory since 1958.

•Collingwood's Premiership total stood at 13.

•Alan Richardson, who wore 13, was dropped on the eve of the big match.

And there were a bunch more that I can't remember. Anyway, in the Grand Final itself ...

•Collingwood scored 13 goals

•Craig Starcevich practically sealed the match after being brought on at the 13th minute of the first quarter

•And 13 charges were laid after a brawl at the quarter time break in which Gavin Brown (26 – double 13) was knocked out.

Things didn't go so well in 1992 and 1994, the last two years Collingwood made it to the finals. A lack of thirteens was the problem. We got kicked out after scoring 12 goals against St. Kilda in 1992; the bastard Saints scored 13.13 91. A twelve-goal score also saw us lose in 1994.

So, how do things look in 2002?

•During the home and away rounds, Collingwood won 13 games.

•Against North Melbourne in round 13, Collingwood scored 13 goals to win after receiving 13 free kicks.

•In our only game this year against Adelaide, who we play on Saturday for the right to compete in the Grand Final, our halftime score was 13.8, and our final score was 138.

So we will defeat the Crows. The numbers tell us so. There is only one negative omen: it's been 12, rather than 13, years since our last flag. But Buckley magic will overwhelm that statistical flaw. Go Pies!

2002-09-20T10:30:00.000+10:00

RICHARD COLLESS is either extremely brave or extremely foolhardy – this is not the first time he has dared cross the most powerful man in football!

"The recent ravings of (Collingwood coach) Michael Malthouse following on the Eddie McGuire comments are just a single example of the constant pressure that we are subjected too by rival clubs and, like any other club in this competition, we are constantly competing with other codes.”

Eddie Everywhere’s response was swift and thoroughly ambiguous:

McGuire, speaking during his hosting segment on Channel Nine's The Footy Show, said he did not want to insinuate Sydney had paid Wallace.

But he said prospective coaches wanted to go to non-Victorian clubs because they were allowed to pay their players 100 per cent of the salary cup, with Victorian teams only allowed to pay their players 92.5 per cent.

"It's pretty clear that there's ... no fluke that there's two teams without coaches at the moment (the Bulldogs and the Kangaroos) and both of them are at 92.5 per cent of the salary cap," he said.

"So boo-hoo to the Sydney Swans who feel so hardly done by at the moment.

"It's not that flash for some of the clubs in Melbourne who are trying to make things happen."

McGuire said of Wallace's scenario: "Luckily at the Swans there's no pay-out because you wouldn't want them to be paying two coaches next year but he hasn't sacked his manager because he's pretty happy with things at the moment.

"Work all that out - because I can't."

Neither can I – what are you saying, Eddie?!

And I should have put this warning up front – if you don’t want to waste all day watching a status bar graph crawl its way across your screen, don’t hit any of the links to the AFL website. It’s at its slowest today – which is saying something.

2002-09-20T01:26:00.000+10:00

PRELIMINARY FINAL PREVIEW

Collingwood vs Adelaide, MCG, Saturday Afternoon.
Collingwood come into this game fresh after a two week break, and Nathan Buckley comes into the side for Molloy. Adelaide have named an unchanged lineup. The Age tipsters lean to Adelaide by 10 tipsters to 7.

Adelaide have match hardness, self belief and finals experience. They went missing again for a half of football last week, yet still kicked 20 goals, and a come from behind win like that can be inspiring. It was rather like the 1997 preliminary final against Footscray, although there the Crows didn't squander a 40 point lead.
Yet such games can work against you too. It might lead to that emotional feeling that it was the win that mattered. Certainly, no one tipped Adelaide to do as well as they have, not in Melbourne, nor even in the City of Churches.

Collingwood are entereing uncharted territory. For them, big game nerves might play a factor, but they are fresh, young, fearless, and brilliantly coached. If they have been using their week off wisely, they should be able to overcome their nerves.

My tip is for Adelaide. I think that the experience and the self belief is too great for Collingwood to overcome, and it's actually been a while since Collingwood played a really good solid game of football- their win against Port Adelaide was a case of Licuria, and Port losing it more then anything else. My heart says Adelaide by 90 points, but my head says Adelaide by 24.

Brisbane vs Port Adelaide, the Gabba, Saturday Night.
Brisbane are rested, fit, and invincible at the Gabba. All 17 of the Age's tipsters have gone for them. Charman goes out for McDonald. This should be easy.
Port Adelaide are tired, unsteady, and suddenly got the yips. No one gives them a rats chance. Lade goes out for Wakelin.

Do you see something wrong with this picture too?

There's NO SUCH THING as a sure bet in a final.

Brisbane go into this game fit, raring to go, in great form, and have had the fortnight off. They are playing at their stronghold, which has been breached only once this season, and they saw off their last challenger, the Adelaide Crows, with almost embarrasing ease. There's no negatives at all.

Port Adelaide go into this game with a nearly full strength line-up. They are fit, and have at last won their first final, a good come from behind effort against Essendon. Their coach has a few matchups to worry about, most prominently, where to play Chad Cornes, (My guess is he will play up forward; Jonathon Brown won't be caught out this time.) They are free from expectations.

My Tip is for Port Adelaide to win. This is not a case of Adelaide pundits sticking together. I loathe Port Adelaide and all their works, no matter how much I respect their onfield achievements. Do you expect a Manchester City fan to cheer on Manchester United? No. My mind goes back to early 2001 where the supposedly invincible Essendon side lost a game to Carlton which had four key players out. I saw Carlton priced at up to $6 dollars, and somehow I just knew they were going to win. Complacency is Brisbane's enemy here, which is remarkable considering they lost to Port Adelaide less then a month ago. Final's football is something else, but you can't argue that they won't be affected by what's gone on for Port Adelaide in the last fortnight. Port Adelaide to win by 15 points in perhaps the match of the season.

2002-09-20T00:55:00.000+10:00

THE CITY OF MONASH has taken the chance for one last bite out of the AFL. They have sent a rates bill of $2.7 Million dollars for the old Waverly Park.
In Adelaide, the City of Charles Sturt makes sure it gets the most out of Football Park too. Can't trust these local councils, can you?

2002-09-19T07:54:00.000+10:00

BRUCE McAVANEY does nothing to quash “those rumours”.

On Talking Footy on Tuesday night, McAvaney was discussing with former Crows coach Graeme Cornes whether Wayne Carey would struggle with the hype in Adelaide and compared the situation he faces with that of Tony Modra.

McAVANEY: You made the famous comment that Modra’s a more popular person than Don Bradman and in the context you were right because he was a “sexier” man…

Hmmmmm…..

2002-09-18T02:41:00.000+10:00

THE ALL-AUSTRALIAN TEAM is announced. Dermott Brereton thinks
"the selectors make a choice knowing that they are being overly flamboyant, in hope of predicting the future rather than simply rewarding the immediate past."
and looking at the selection of Pavlich, one can only nod in agreement. Dermott was also horrified that Andrew McLeod didn't get a mention, however as a intimate Crows-watcher, I'd have to say it hasn't been one of his standout seasons.

I was surprised no-one from Collingwood or Essendon got in, and I also thought Crawford was lucky to get in. All in all, it's hard to argue with the bulk of the side, although there's plenty of quibbles about some of the positions.

2002-09-18T02:34:00.000+10:00

NORTH MELBOURNE look likely to pick a rookie coach, with front runners being Mark Harvey and Dean Laidley. This suggests that North are looking to the bottom line more then anything. However, I always enjoy seeing new talent having a go, so good luck to the winner!

2002-09-17T13:58:00.000+10:00

MICK MALTHOUSE'S explanation for declining crowds, as reported by The Australian:

"Supporters are not fools," Malthouse said. "They don't want to see a side with 92.5 per cent salary cap play against the 'Sydney cap' or the 'Brisbane cap'. They don't want to see a million and a bit dollars difference in the salary cap and think: 'There's five good players. We haven't got those good players. What hope have we got?'

"We're seeing all the hallmarks of people getting pretty disappointed and disillusioned with sides they follow that aren't on a fair break.

Does anyone have a silo of salt? Taking coaches seriously about the salary cap is like listening to Saddam Hussein denounce pre-emptive military action.

2002-09-17T07:35:00.000+10:00

COULD THIS be the first scoop that we at OBIS have broken?

From Arma, Footy Banter Team Founding Father (retired):

“If I know anything about web coding of forms, the Ten Poll on the AFL website is a sham.

I checked out the code on the page, and the percentages are "hard coded" into the page, i.e. no matter what anyone might vote, the numbers don't change.

I thought "no, that can't be right".

So I entered about 20 responses for the response with only a 6% response.

And sure enough - no change to the numbers.

Perhaps if you know someone who is a real web programming head you might want to get them to check it out. But I reckon that the AFL website is publishing the numbers that it wants to create the impression that it wants to.

Perhaps it's a bit of a "who cares" for the Essendon question.

But what if they were asking something a bit more touchy, (e.g. "Do you think that the free to air networks have done a better job that last year in covering the footy?”) and then publishing their own made up numbers as "results".

I know that they are very unlikely to ask that one, but I think that you can see where I am going.

That is all

Big Arma”

The Poll in question was the one on "how many premierships should Essendon have won between 1999 and 2002?"

Arma did his snooping on Monday afternoon, I checked around 10pm Monday night and again around 7:30 Tuesday morning.

Same result every time - no matter how much I clicked on "4" as the answer, it still came up "6%".

Over to you, Channel 10 AFL website people - Is your poll a sham?

2002-09-17T01:04:00.000+10:00

IS THIS story, displayed prominiently with a colour photo in today's West Australian, a peace gesture?

The Eagles have appeared in the wrong (front) half of the West for nearly a week as the paper has waged a campaign against the club. And fair enough too.

West Coast has been less than forthcoming after the explosive Ben Cousins/Daniel Kerr story broke last Monday. The club said skipper Cousins had broken his arm after falling down the stairs at Claremont nightspot Club Bay View, but neglected to mention the fact he had punched team mate Kerr in the face on the same night.

When this story was printed on Tuesday, the club issued a statement saying it had not heard of the incident until it appeared in the paper. But coach John Worsfold subsequently revealed that he knew about the incident on Monday.

When journalists were threatened that a press conference, called for the retirement of Mark Merenda and Richard Taylor, would be terminated if questions were asked about Cousins or Kerr, the West had had enough. That prompted these opening paragraphs from Grant Taylor, a police roundsman, under the headline "Cover-up over Cousins":

ATTEMPTS by the West Coast Eagles to cover up a fight between captain Ben Cousins and teammate Daniel Kerr have backfired.

In an embarrassing admission yesterday, coach John Worsfold revealed he knew about the fight when asked at a press conference on Monday how Cousins injured his arm.But he did not mention it because "nobody asked me".

All of a sudden, the Eagles found themselves in unaccustomed territory at the front of the newspaper. A prominent graphic detailing the club's off-field troubles gave the impression of a club in crisis. There was no doubt that this was war.

But today, the waters appear calmer. West Coast CEO Trevor Nisbett is given a good hearing as he attempts to dispell perceptions of a "rude, arrogant and smug" club. The piece speaks of a "new era of openness and accountability". The accompanying picture of a smiling Nisbett between the club's two premiership cups looks like a PR job well done.

Who can explain the seemingly rapid reversal? Perhaps the West's cricket writer and media columnist John Townsend, who we are informed is an avid reader of OBIS, might give us a clue?

2002-09-13T11:04:00.000+10:00

DON HANLY, Carlton's CEO, has been defending the club's handling of Wayne Brittain's sacking.

If the jungle drums are beating true, Hanly might cop a dose of the same medicine.

From what we hear, you're next, pal.

Don't be surprised to see Denis Pagan reunited with an old Arden Street comrade, former CEO Greg Miller.

2002-09-13T10:54:00.000+10:00

THE AFL PLAYERS' Association have named their MVP award in honour of Leigh Matthews.

Not a bad choice, I reckon.

2002-09-13T10:51:00.000+10:00

I THOUGHT while watching the Footy Show late last night (very late here in Sydney) that Wayne Brittain was just a little too nice to Carlton at their B&F presentation only a day after being unceremoniously dumped.

Now we know why.

2002-09-13T05:35:00.000+10:00

IT MUST BE great to have your own TV show.

That way, you don’t have to brook any adverse comment about your club, no matter how salacious or controversial.

From last night’s “The Collingwood Show” (or, more accurately, from earlier this morning for us northern states viewers, where logical programming principles fly out the window and even non-ratings fillers like “The Fugitive” get a run before top-rating, award-winning AFL content):

TREVOR MARMALADE: …And a few developments at North I believe…

EDDIE McGUIRE: There are indeed, and…. ahhh, we’ll get onto that… Well, might as well get onto that… There’s two stories…

JOHN “SAM” NEWMAN: How’s it all been going, anyhow, Ed? All been going well?

McGUIRE: Very much so…

NEWMAN: On and off the field? You’re right, are you?

McGUIRE: Yes, absolutely. What are you asking?

NEWMAN: No, I’m just asking… Don’t really know what I’m asking, Ed. I was just thinking we should ask you if it’s going alright off the field and you’ve got that under control.

McGUIRE: Everything is going ok, and as far as the story that you’re referring to earlier in the week, regarding the off-field performance, or an allegation of off-field misdemeanours, the club has no comment to make regarding anything in that situation…

NEWMAN: Me, referring to that?…

That was it, done and dusted in around 30 seconds.

Teflon Eddie does it again!

2002-09-11T12:34:00.000+10:00

BEN COUSINS, favoured by many to win the Brownlow Medal, has broken his arm. Yesterday, the West Australian's Craig O'Donoghue reported Cousins suffered the injury after he was pushed down the stairs at a Perth nightclub on Sunday night.

It is believed someone shoved Cousins down the stairs and he crashed into a wall during post-season celebrations at Club Bayview on Sunday.

The club said it did not know the person who pushed Cousins and was not considering laying charges.

The break is so serious it would have kept Cousins out of action for five matches if it had occurred during the season.

Today, the story has, shall we say, developed. Substantially.

WITNESSES claim West Coast Eagles captain Ben Cousins punched teammate Daniel Kerr with a powerful right hook on the night he claims he broke his arm by falling down stairs.

The incident, which comes two weeks after club veterans Phil Matera and Richard Taylor came to blows at training, happened at the Club Bayview nightclub in Claremont on Sunday night.

Two men who saw the fight told The West Australian yesterday that an angry Cousins walked up to Kerr about 11pm, pointed a finger at his face and shouted "this is not over".

Kerr once dated Cousins' sister but the relationship is now over.

It's all fun and games at West Coast. If they're not implicated in drug dealing, if they're not belting each other on the training track, if they're not being dropped for drinking, then they're belting each other at night clubs.

Perth is a wonderful place!

2002-09-10T15:19:00.000+10:00

WHEN NEWS LIKE THIS breaks, there is but one appropriate course of action – re-write the club theme song.

Here goes:

Good old Collingwood forever
They know how to beat the meat
Jerking the gherkin together
Flogging off in the street

Give the monkeys a spanking
Tossing off oh so good
Oh, the chicken’s a choking
For the good old Collingwood.

Send your entries in , folks.

UPDATE. You are so dead, Woolrich.
-- Blair

2002-09-10T13:04:00.000+10:00

AT THE RISK of being too "mind games" conscious, as predicted, Sheeds has opened up with an almighty heaped teaspoon of the stuff for Choco Williams and the Power.

My one concern is my tip that Sheeds will unload every day this week.

After his opening salvo – which seems to cover every conceivable base - does Sheeds have any dry powder left in the keg?

2002-09-10T09:23:00.000+10:00

IN AN UNPRECEDENTED spirit of co-operation between coaches, Lethal is now playing Sheeds’ mind games against Port Adelaide on Sheeds’ behalf.

Or is it just a case of one-upmanship, with Lethal giving Sheeds a gentle reminder that he is now gaining the ascendancy in trash-talk?

2002-09-10T09:01:00.000+10:00

I’M NOTE EXACTLY SURE WHY, but isn’t there something wrong if Ian Collins, CEO of Colonial Stadium, aka Telstra Dome, becomes Carlton president?

In the murky world of AFL conflicts of interests, this is not so much of an obvious conflict as others have been in the past.

But as Carlton owns Optus Oval, surely it is not in the interests of Carlton members to have the CEO of a competitor stadium become aware of sensitive commercial information concerning their stadium?

It would be akin to the CEO of Woolworths also putting up his hand to become the new chairman of Coles Myer, would it not?

Retailers are fiercely protective about competitors becoming aware of their margins, why shouldn’t stadium operators be similarly protective?

And surely the running of Optus Oval is such an integral part of the Carlton Football Club chairman’s job that Collins couldn’t possibly expect to disqualify himself from every board deliberation on the matter and still be an effective chairman?

2002-09-10T03:14:00.000+10:00

LEAPING LARRY L is, as you'd expect, the only decent writer on the AFL website. Here he tackles the finals system. My $0.02? Let's go back to a final 4!

2002-09-10T03:07:00.000+10:00

THERE'S NOTHING like a good stoush in a football club to entertain the fans- of the 15 other clubs.
Dennis Pagan is probably going to be at Optus Oval next year, if he can find out who he should be negotiating with.
"Denis Pagan's role in all of this remains significant. The Elliott camp has unofficially offered Pagan a five-year deal through an intermediary, but the Collins group has made it clear the likes of Pagan is also in its sights and he should wait for the dust to settle.
Even the true believers at North believe Pagan is lost to them. He did something quite unusual on Sunday night. He found his way to a South Melbourne bar where he and wife Cheryl joined the players for an end-of-season drink. Several senior members of the group saw this as an ominous sign.
Incredibly, both Pagan and his former CEO, Greg Miller, could find themselves at Optus Oval next season. Both have been indirectly approached and sounded out about the Blues. Although Carlton's current chief executive, Don Hanly, would certainly remain under Collins, Miller could take over the football department."

And I wonder who takes over the casualty ward?

2002-09-09T18:14:00.000+10:00

THE WEST AUSTRALIAN, so indignant about the AFL's treatment of the Eagles, has finally caught up. On today's back page:

ADELAIDE has drawn the ultimate short straw for week two of the AFL finals.

The Crows, who finished third, must go to Melbourne to play sixth-placed Melbourne at the MCG on Saturday night after the Demons beat the Kangaroos 18.14 (122) to 11.18 (84) at the MCG yesterday.

It will be the Crows' third road trip in as many weeks. They went to Perth to play Fremantle in round 22, were thrashed by Brisbane at the Gabba in a qualifying final at the weekend and now must go to Melbourne.

2002-09-09T08:13:00.000+10:00

ONE OF THE UNSUNG HEROES of the game retires in typical fashion, without seeking fanfare or acclaim.

“There are all different types, personalities, characters and individuals involved, and I think John Blakey goes right up there with the best of any footballer I’ve been involved with,” Denis Pagan said.

“It’s a very emotional game, but I don’t think John has ever whinged or ever moaned once. I’ve been hard on Johnny at times, and all he does is put his head up and just try to prove you wrong. And just try a little bit harder.”

“It’s a very sad day for the Kangaroos when a person of the calibre and quality of John Blakey retires.”

Blakey played in three grand finals for the Roos, two of them victorious, and until this year boasted the amazing record of having missed just one game in six seasons.

It was hard to be critical of the Fitzroy administration in its latter days, losing many a great player – Roos, Pert, Lynch and more – due to lack of funds.

But the decision to trade John Blakey for John McCarthy was one they got seriously wrong.

McCarthy might have played 71 games for the Lions, but rarely was he the “impact player” that he was touted as being.

And the reason for Blakey falling out of favour at Fitzroy? He had been given a toweling by a 17-year-old playing his first game for the Bad News Brisbane Bears, a lad by the name of Michael Voss.

From “The Encyclopedia of AFL Footballers” (no link available):

“When he made his debut as a 17 year old in 1992 he made an immediate impression on Fitzroy’s John Blakey when he grabbed nine possessions in the first quarter as Blakey dropped his guard.”

2002-09-09T07:53:00.000+10:00

SO WHAT WAS IT?

A “clumsy attempt to block the run of West Coast midfielder Chris Judd”, as The Age’s Emma Quayle reported, or “an ugly incident that left Essendon officials deeply concerned and their Eagles counterparts furious”, as Jim Main reported in the Australian.

Let’s hope that serial tripper, Dustin Fletcher, does have to face the music at the Tribunal this week.

2002-09-09T01:22:00.000+10:00

AFTER SATURDAY NIGHT'S shocker, Adelaide will get some motivational words from Lleyton Hewitt. The tennis ace checks the Crows progress on the internet, and after seeing the news about Adelaide's dismal showing against Brisbane, promptly went out and lost his US Open semi-final. A bad weekend for South Australians all round.

2002-09-08T20:28:00.000+10:00

TEN'S DISMAL treatment of football fans in Sydney and Brisbane has sparked an e-mail campaign directed at Izzy Asper, whose CanWest company is majority owner of the Ten network. Click here to send Asper your own note of complaint.

Here's a copy of the e-mail currently being mailed in bulk to the Asper office:

Dear Mr Asper

I implore you to alert your minions in Sydney, Australia, to a grotesque programming outrage.

Last Friday night, followers of Australian Rules football in Sydney had to suffer a two-and-a-half hour delay to view the first match in the AFL finals series, a gripping encounter between the red-hot favourites, Port Adelaide, and the unbackable underdogs, Collingwood.

The latter prevailed in an exciting contest, but to the great frustration of many Sydney viewers, the exciting conclusion to the game did not make our screens until around 1am.

Apparently numerous callers protested to the station, but to no avail.

Incredibly, the same situation exists this week, with a 10-year-old, oft-repeated movie being shown in Sydney in preference to another AFL final.

Once again this Friday, AFL coverage in Sydney will commence at the ludicrous hour of 10:30pm.

I urge you to do whatever is in your power to redress this situation.

Kind regards

A Concerned Viewer.

2002-09-08T19:30:00.000+10:00

FOR MY MONEY (although certain of my colleagues disagree), Mick Malthouse hasn’t been noted for his work in the Mind Games caper.

Kevin Sheedy, on the other hand, wrote the book on it.

Yet Mick gave Port Adelaide an absolute towelling in the battle above the shoulders.

So how much fun will Sheedy have toying with Port Adelaide and their oversized monkey on the back?

Expect a reminder from Sheeds every day this week of Port’s 0-4 finals record.

2002-09-08T19:08:00.000+10:00

CHANNEL 10 this Friday night:

8:30 Movie: So I Married an Axe Murderer

10:25 News

10:30 Football. AFL Semi-final 1

AFL fans resident in Sydney, program this number into your speed dial:

9650 1010

Their office hours are 7:30am to 8:00pm – start dialing now!

2002-09-08T12:47:00.000+10:00

HOORAY FOR the Ten Network, writes The Age's Caroline Wilson:

So, on Friday night, Ten's five-year finals campaign began. While Nine's star performer, Eddie McGuire, who has called Friday night football all season, wore only his Collingwood presidential hat in embracing his unexpected preliminary finalists, Ten's team was celebrating a ratings peak of 34 in Melbourne, 32 in Adelaide and a national audience of 1.5 million.

I wonder how much larger that audience might have been had Ten broadcast the match live in Sydney. Reader Kevin Hoey points out that the match was shown hours late in Queensland, too:

"To say I am angrily disappointed with the fact that in Brisbane we did not get the AFL final between the Power & the Magpies LIVE-LIVE-LIVE!!! would be a gross understatement.

"This is crap!"

Damn straight.

2002-09-08T12:22:00.000+10:00

FAMOUS LAST WORDS. In the 'Tisers preview of last night's Adelaide pounding, Michaelangelo Rucci theorised:

There has to be merit in its performance, a quality missing in last year's 68-point humiliation to Carlton in an elimination final at the MCG … Ayres has repeatedly reminded players of their need to atone for that defeat.

They lost by 71 points. Way to atone, Crows.

2002-09-08T12:11:00.000+10:00

READER Don D. writes:

I am a little concerned about Collingwood's progress because if they win the flag, I am only on the 6th floor, and there is an outside chance that when I fling myself off the balcony I could survive long enough to hear the club song being played.

2002-09-08T09:15:00.000+10:00

WITH APOLOGIES to Mike Williamson, I tipped this.

After the first final, that grand final preview from Round 22 will not happen.

The best that perennial finals chokers Port Adelaide can hope for is to meet Brisbane - at the Gabba - in the Preliminary Final.

2002-09-07T03:44:00.000+10:00

The headlines:

MAGPIES UPSET PORT

REAL-DEAL PIES TURN ON THE POWER

POWER BUT NO GLORY FOR FANS

PIES POWER HOME FOR FAMOUS WIN

And here's the best quote, from the newspaper that employs 17 tipsters who all got it totally wrong:

Malthouse said his players, who went into the match against the minor premier having lost three of their past four games, had relished their underdog status.

Underdog status? You read it here first.

2002-09-07T00:13:00.000+10:00

FOR MY next trick, I am tipping Brisbane but hoping Adelaide win, tipping Essendon but hoping West Coast win, and tipping Melbourne though I hope North Melbourne get up. If i get 0/4 I will be one happy little vegemite.

2002-09-07T00:08:00.000+10:00

I TIPPED Port Adelaide too. I'm so delighted that I got it wrong!

If you go to Port's semi final next week, be sure to chant "You've never won a final". Trust me, it really pisses them off.

Expect a Blair eruption on this site soon.

2002-09-06T15:39:00.000+10:00

THEY CAN'T PLAY Australian Rules football.

So why would they bother filling their heads with the intricacies of a manifestly inferior code?

2002-09-06T15:30:00.000+10:00

I TIPPED PORT ADELAIDE.

And I don't fear for my digits.

2002-09-06T14:50:00.000+10:00

BECAUSE COMPETITION is wrong and piglike television networks need to be protected from anything that could threaten their security, this is the situation for AFL fans in Sydney tonight:

Network Ten, which has guaranteed first rights to all finals matches, isn’t showing the Qualifying Final live. Instead, it’s running a PG-rated film called Au Pair. The Qualifying Final won’t be shown until 10.30pm, more than two hours after the game's commencement. Au fuck.

Their reason for this? A woman at Ten told me that Sydney wasn't playing (really?!) and that there was scant local interest. Had anyone else complained? Yes, she said; about 50 before 1pm. And many more during the week. That's "scant". Would anyone complain if Au Pair was dropped?

Well, fine. Let Ten make fools of themselves. That's why we’ve got Foxtel, right? So people who want to watch matches live can pay to do so, yes?

Except that Foxtel, under our idiot broadcasting regulations, can't show any finals games live. They can only show replays. Which means Ten is protected from any loss of viewers due to their poor programming, and Foxtel football subscribers pay extra for the privilege of watching a match beginning a whole hour later than Ten's already-late starting time.

Here's an idea: Let people broadcast anything they like for whatever fees they care to charge, and let other people – us, the viewers – decide if we want to watch. It's a little system I like to call "the market".

2002-09-06T14:24:00.000+10:00

ALL TWENTY SEVEN football tipsters at The Age and The West Australian have selected Port Adelaide to win tonight in the first Qualifying Final against Collingwood, thereby handing Collingwood the coveted underdog status.

The smallest margin tipped at The Age is 11 points, while Martin Blake predicts a 55-point blowout.

I keep detailed lists of such people. In the event of a tipster's death, their children's names are substituted. Why? Because when Collingwood fundamentalist rule is established, I will deliver my lists to the enforcers of Shawria Law. Try typing your infidel tips with no hands, Martin!

2002-09-05T07:21:00.000+10:00

AFTER 20 YEARS, those entertainment "experts" who run the AFL's Grand Final spectacular have finally come to their senses and re-introduced the two things that the average footy punter wants to see at half-time:

Demetriou said the grand final sprint and kicking competition will be reintroduced.

The fact that this was buried at the bottom of an AFL media release shows just how out of touch these people are.

2002-09-05T02:14:00.000+10:00

10 POLLS that should be put on the AFL website, but probably wont be.

1. Is Dean Rioli really a fat pig? Yes/No
2. Is there anything Eddie Maguire won't do for a quid or for media airtime? Yes/No
3. Do you wish Bruce McAveny was still calling the footy? Yes/No/Who's Bruce?
4. Who's the sexier boundary rider? Tiffany Cherry/Kristi Malthouse
5. Can you take a reporter seriously with a name like Tiffany Cherry? Yes/No
6. Can "Talking Footy" be in a less friendly timeslot? Yes/No
7. Do you still watch Rex Hunt's footy panel? No/Never watched it
8. The people that run the AFL website should be Given a medal/Hung, drawn and quatered/Electrocuted.
9. The chances of me clicking an ad on the AFL website are zip/zero/nada
10. The chances of me learning something interesting from a AFL media release are zip/zero/nada.

2002-09-04T12:32:00.000+10:00

WEST COAST continue to put on a brave public face over the AFL's particularly rough finals scheduling. On Seven's Talking Footy last night, Caroline Wilson stated the club was privately seething over the league's decision to fixture its Colonial Stadium clash with Essendon on Saturday, just six days after their Round 22 match in Canberra.

But Eagles coach John Worsfold remains intent on removing any possible negative thoughts from his players minds. He refuses to give them an excuse:

"It's probably better that we're playing on Saturday rather than Sunday because it's a day less they have to wait. Young kids use up a lot of nervous energy and they're keen to get over there and get into it. Maybe Friday night would have been better."

Worsfold may not be fooling us, but he has his players convinced. Said captain Ben Cousins:

"We're playing in the finals. It's a great experience and we're looking forward to it. We'll play any time they want."

Woosha looks to be as inspirational a coach as he was a player.

2002-09-04T03:25:00.000+10:00

IT'S ALWAYS amusing to look back 22 rounds ago and see what the experts thought would happen.

2002-09-04T03:11:00.000+10:00

THE Anti-AFL jihad™ might get a bit nastier if the Magpies win on Friday night. Turns out that while the MCC was defending its right to have a preliminary final, regardless of home-ground advantage rights, the AFL, in their wisdom and generosity, conceded them the rights to a Semi-final as well! It's a pity David Crawford is busy.

2002-09-04T01:41:00.000+10:00

MARK WILLIAMS deserves a lot of credit for what he's done in educating players. Look at Roger James- in 1999 he was better known as Brett James' brother- and now he's putting the reigning premiers to the sword. Meanwhile, former Crow Brett James runs around playing for Norwood. He's not the only one. Port Adelaide, alas, will be a thorn in everyone's side for a good while yet.

2002-09-04T01:34:00.000+10:00

PIPPED at the post- I was leading the Crikey footy tipping comp until this round, when my rash tip of Geelong let me down. I came second, with 124 right for the season. The "Great" "Crullers" also was high on the leaderboard with 116.

GP UPDATE: Does that mean I would've won? I tipped 125 in the Fairfax comp, leaving me 240th out of 51,000 tipsters.

SW UPDATE: Yes, you'd have been joint winner. You will know better next year, won't you?

2002-09-03T12:51:00.000+10:00

MARGO KINGSTON is at it again. In today's wretched Webdiary, the Leno-chinned semi-literate … uh oh; wrong blog. What I meant to say was, Mick Malthouse is running the best misinformation campaign this side of John Pilger as Collingwood prepares for its qualifying final against Port Adelaide.

Crullers has all the Malthouse quotes in his earlier post. Tip: Buckley will be named, but won't play. Rocca is a certainty.

2002-09-03T11:00:00.000+10:00

BLOGGER Martin Roth generously links to this humble journal from his own little corner of the web. Roth, an AFL infidel, won Crikey's footy tipping competition last year, despite a total lack of enthusiasm for or knowledge of Australian Rules football.

Oh the shame!

2002-09-03T10:53:00.000+10:00

THE WEST AUSTRALIAN is ramping up the anti-AFL jihad this morning, as the implications of a six-day break with two-cross country plane trips begin to hit home. John McGrath reports WAFC chairman Neale Fong's disbelief:

"It stinks ... I think the draw is grossly unfair."

as well as similar sentiments from Brisbane coach Leigh Matthews:

"You've got to feel for the Eagles ... They're the ones who've drawn the absolute short straw."

But surely you know you've been hard done by when Kevin Sheedy himself questions the fairness of the scheduling:

"I am not quite sure how they (the AFL) make the decisions but, in fairness to the Eagles, they have been in Canberra, they have gone home and now they have to come back over here by Saturday ... it is a big ask."

This is the same Kevin Sheedy who said it would be an "absolute disgrace" if any genuine Bomber fan wasn't at the ColonialTelstraDome Stadium to make life utterly uncomfortable for John Worsfold's men.

2002-09-03T09:23:00.000+10:00

UPDATE.

The gratuitous sponsors’ logo placement gets worse (see post below) – the Orange logo is now given prominence on the AFL website, sponsored and hosted by rival telecom, Telstra.

Have they no shame (or sense of respect for a legend) at Bomber land?

2002-09-03T01:31:00.000+10:00

HAWTHORN CHAMPION Dermott Brereton loves Mick Martyn. We know this because he told us so, during Nine's coverage of West Coast's make-or-break clash with the Kangaroos at Manuka on Sunday.

Martyn earned Brereton's affection by playing some thuggish, Dermie-style football. Martyn's opponent was 29 year-old second-year player Troy Wilson, a mountain of a man who gave the Kanga's veteran a lesson by booting five goals, despite Martyn's persistent touch-ups.

Dermott may love Mick, but Mick hates Troy. We are led to believe this goes back to last year's end-of-season footy-trip frivolity. Both West Coast and the Kangas lobbed in at the same tropical spot. (Bali?) Inevitably, the two teams crossed paths at a nightspot.

One particular encounter was -- you guessed it -- Mick Martyn and Troy Wilson. The story goes that a heavily-intoxicated Martyn didn't take to kindly to some comments attributed to Wilson about him in the press some months earlier. And Martyn, in his state, felt compelled to tell Wilson exactly what he thought of him.

Wilson, a non-drinker (strange but true!), was struggling to hear exactly what Mick was trying to say. It may have been the music, it may have been Martyn's Bintang quota. As such, he politely declined the bald one's offer for a quick bout of handbags at ten paces.

It's not worth it Mick, said Wilson. And anyway, you're not an AFL player anymore, so don't worry about it.

Martyn, you see, had just days before been delisted by the club he'd grown up with.

No wonder then that, come Sunday, Mick felt compelled to stamp on Wilson's foot, punch him to the back of the head in a fabricated attempt to spoil, fall all over the West Coast forward after beating him on the lead, and generally behave like a washed-up, yard-slow, year-too-old defender.

Then again, maybe the footy-trip story is totally untrue. Maybe Martyn just is washed up, a yard too slow, and a year too old.

2002-09-03T01:12:00.000+10:00

MALTHOUSE AS mind-games illiterate? Surely you jest, Crullers! Remeber Mick's flirtation with Buddhist Zen philosophy?

"The ox is slow but the earth is patient". So said Mick.

2002-09-03T00:49:00.000+10:00

I NEVER THOUGHT of Mick Malthouse as a keen student of the noble science (or is it the “sweet art”?) of Mind Games.

But with the Maggies on the skids at precisely the wrong time (and nary a squeak about them from certain quarters), he has dug out some corkers from the bag of tricks:

“We are clearly the underdog. The pressure, really, is all Port Adelaide’s,” he said on Monday.

“It’s played in Adelaide. You wouldn’t live in Adelaide in a fit in this week would you, with the pressure that they’re going to be put under?”

“We go across there fresh. We go across there without that expectation of having a burden that the public think we can beat the top side.”

“The unknown quantity of this one, is when it gets to crossing the white line, it’s what sort of burden clubs carry over the line with them.”

“They’ve had the finals experience. But they haven’t had a finals win.”

“They are expected to win – they haven’t won a final. They’re playing a side that has played that ground very, very well, and has beaten them there in the last two seasons and lost by a kick after giving away a five-goal start. They’ll carry that over with them.”

He goes BAAAANG!

2002-09-03T00:21:00.000+10:00

SOME THOUGHTS from yours truly on corporate governance at footy clubs - a football oxymoron if ever there was - on the Crikey website.

The target this time is the Sydney Swans - in particular their bird-flipping chairman, Richard "rhymes with Wallace" Colless.

2002-09-03T00:12:00.000+10:00

VALE KING RICHARD.

I only wish I had seen him play.

And I don't want to distract from the great man's passing, but did the Bombers have to crassly give prominence to their sponsors' logos on the sole pictorial tribute on their website's homepage and the obituary page?

2002-09-02T09:30:00.000+10:00

LEST I BE ACCUSED of plagiarism by my colleagues in the Footy Banter Team, this one was spotted by Leachy:

Brisbane captain Michael Voss lost the battle but won The Age Footballer of the Year award on Saturday…

…He has won a trip for two up the Sunshine Coast to the Emerald Luxury Apartments at Noosa.

Do they give him a hire car, or put him on a bus or train to get him there?

2002-09-02T06:35:00.000+10:00

I EXPECT our friend in white out West will have something to say about this, but I reckon it’s a bit rough for the Eagles to make the trip to Manuka, back to WA, and then back to the stadium that refuses to change its name to Telstra Dome, all in the space of a mere 6 days.

Couldn’t the AFL have granted them one extra day’s grace?

Good to hear, though, Woosher Worsfold making the right noises.

It will also be coming off a long road trip and a six-day break, although coach John Worsfold stressed the season is far from over and said his team will play "whenever and wherever" in its first final since 1999.

In a year of some remarkable coaching achievements – especially the bloke down at Arden Street – a pretty strong case could be mounted for Woosher taking out “coach of the year” honours.

It was somewhat curious that the article in The West didn’t complain about the Victorian-centricity of the first round of finals fixturing, but the home of AFL bashing did.

2002-09-01T22:04:00.000+10:00

WHOEVER SAID grass roots footy in Sydney was dead was speaking out of their ginger and sars.

Actually, come to think of it, I’ve never heard anyone say it, but it’s a definite possibility.

Yesterday, yours truly spent the afternoon watching the UTS Bats’ thirds storm home in a gripping game of footy against traditional rivals, Sydney Uni, to take out the Sydney Football Association third grade flag for the second time in three seasons.

Sydney Uni had thrashed the Bats like the proverbial red-headed step-son in the first round by 22 goals and the Bats had to come from fourth to take the flag over the (convincing) minor premiers.

With all the talk about whether Roosy or Plough should take the Swans gig next year, I nominate the architect of the Bats’ win, Damo, for the job. His half time and three quarter time speeches were the stuff that legends are made of.

To top off a great day of footy, we headed back to the Bats’ social club to watch the final quarter of “the battle of the best” (a great finale even though the Roys lost), then headed out to The Venue Formerly Known as Stadium Australia for a magnificent send off to two great club men.

Gee footy finals time is great – and it hasn’t even started yet!

2002-09-01T14:36:00.000+10:00

I want to go on the record as saying I think Crullers is wrong about the "grand final preview". Brisbane and Port are so clearly the best teams in the competition that they may as well play the season decider next weekend.

That aside, West Coast are 11 points behind the Kangaroos at half time. Each side has had its chances, but the Eagles should probably be doing better on the scoreboard. The equation is simple. A win, and they make the finals. A loss, and Geelong will take eighth spot.

UPDATE: The Eagles are on the march, kicking five unanswered goals in the third quarter to lead by 22 points. But is it enough? West Coast were also 22 points up in the first quarter.

UPDATE: It's a 17 point victory to West Coast. So long Geelong.

2002-09-01T03:38:00.000+10:00

Neal wisely points out that "grand final" previews don't happen too often. Who won the flag in 1998?.

The omens, my friends, are excellent.

46,000 deluded, slobbering and not very well dressed people showed up at Footy Park on Saturday and made some noise. An air-pollution alert now covers the western suburbs of Adelaide. I was working overtime- I need the cash, as I plan to make a trip to Melbourne soon. The Port supporters I was working with are by no means as optimistic in private as they are arrogant and overbearing in public- which, engaging my head rather then my heart and soul for a moment, is suprising.

Having just seen the "grand final preview" courtesy of Fox Footy Channell, the salvation of shift-workers across the nation, You'd have to say there's a growing gap between the top teams, and the middle ranked teams. I watched Hawthorn beat Geelong last night, and the gulf in class, talent and hardness between the top two and the middle of the road teams seems enormous. I've never been a fan of the 8 team finals system, and this year, it's pretty obvious that the Top 4 are the only ones with a show. I know Adelaide won it from 5th in 1998, but that was with the old version of the final eight.

Tim Blair might be despondent with his teams form, but I hold the New Coach Rule™ to be to blame for the Pies loss. I actually think (as well as hope) that the Pies will give the Power a right old shake up on what looks to be a Friday Night Final in Adelaide.

And the Crows will not feel as intimidated as you might think by playing Brisbane. It would be good if we could give the Dockers a good old caning, but Richard Baillie's old math's teacher can shove his "theories" with the rest of Baillie's essays.

2002-09-01T02:25:00.000+10:00

I'M PINNING my football punditry credibility on this one – yesterday’s Power v Lions slobber-knocker will not be the “grand final preview” as many have predicted.

These so-called “grand final previews” are hyped-up every year and rarely come to pass.

And a Weird Footy Fact™ for you:

The last time first played second in round 22? The Team Formerly Known as North Melbourne vs The Team Formerly Known as Footscray in 1998.

The result?

The Kangaroos by 5 points – one point less than the margin in yesterday’s cracker!

That one came straight off the top of the noggin of the King of the Weird Footy Fact™.

2002-09-01T01:17:00.000+10:00

IT LOOKS LIKE the Collywobbles have set in a month too soon.

Thank God for One Blog in September, because you sure wouldn’t read about it on another blog, which is somewhat selective in reporting the results of Collingwood matches.

2002-08-31T13:47:00.000+10:00

THE MATCH: Collingwood v Footscray. What's at stake: for Collingwood, finals credibility and a shot at third place; for Footscray, the chance to salvage some pride from their latest waste of a year.

Wickstein, a believer in the New Coach Rule™, thinks Footscray will be motivated by the chaos of the past week. And, undeniably, the Dogs do have a record of annoying Collingwood in years when they've made the finals; Steve Kretiuk's last-minute goal in 1990 and Gubby Allan's defensive error in '84 sickened me. So did Footscray's court action against the AFL Tribunal in '92, which ultimately assisted the Weagles to their first flag.

But today Footscray are coming off a loss to Carlton, for Christ's sake, while Collingwood – who can't possibly be as lame and slow as they were last week against St Kilda – lack only Nathan Buckley from their ideal team. Collingwood by lots, unless Footscray can close down Collingwood's half-back line, from where all Magpie drive is sourced.

UPDATE: Collingwood lead by one point at halftime. Anthony Rocca was a late withdrawal, leaving the Pies without enough height in the forward line.

Why are umpires blind to the offences committed against Collingwood? Our first free came deep in time-on in the first quarter. Also, Matthew Croft should be charged with crimes against humanity.

UPDATE: In the end, a painfully easy win to Footscray. In accordance with Collingwood supporter tradition, I must now go out and find some poor innocent bastard and make him pay for this.

2002-08-31T10:53:00.000+10:00

ONE GETS THE FEELING Patrick Smith has had enough of this Adelaide v Port Adelaide Preliminary Final hooey, a situation which many seem to have forgotten may not even manifest itself.

In noting that the MCC Trust have dug their heels in, he gets to the nub of it with this:

However, everything about football is a compromise. From salary caps to the draw itself.

The MCC are within their rights to hold their ground – and their preliminary final. And Wayne Jackson must learn another tune.

Damn straight.

And the AFL could learn a lesson from the MCC about delivering on their promises to members and protecting members’ entitlements.

It’s good for business.

2002-08-30T21:46:00.000+10:00

DON SCOTT is a trusted source of inflammatory quotes. Short of angry words for the back page? Don is just a phone call away. Today the former Hawthorn wildman helped out the Herald Sun by attacking his old team:

"I find it very difficult to look those fellows in the eye. I can't relate to them," he said. "They don't understand the culture of the club.

"They'll drift through their football careers and achieve absolutely nothing."

I used to ghost a column for Peter Keenan, Scott's nemesis in the 70s and 80s. He once told me how he'd attempted to end the violence that marked every Keenan-Scott encounter: "I said to him, 'Mate, let's just play football. Let's not keep hitting each other, and trampling each other, and shoving each other. What do you say, Don?'

"Don thought it over for a few seconds, then he looked at me and said, 'No.'"

2002-08-30T20:52:00.000+10:00

HAWKS HALFWAY HOME: Hawthorn needs to win by at least ten goals over Geelong if they are to creep into the 2002 finals series. Twenty minutes into the second quarter, the Hawks are five goals clear.

Even if they manage to nail Geelong by the required amount, however, Hawthorn still needs a West Coast win over North Melbourne on Sunday. It ain't gonna happen. (Note: prediction may be inaccurate.)

UPDATE: Peter Riccardi is suddenly finding leads inside 50m. Two late goals to Geelong; the lead is cut to less than three goals at halftime.

2002-08-30T16:34:00.000+10:00

A Perth mathematician has claimed Adelaide could be motivated to throw its final home and away match against Fremantle at Subiaco this weekend:

Dr George Christos, who sets the fixtures for the WAFL, says under the current system teams might be encouraged to deliberately throw matches in the last round to improve their prospects for the finals.

He says third-placed Adelaide, which plays the last game of the round, might find itself in a position where the reward for victory would be a trip to Brisbane to take on the reigning premier in week one of the finals.

"If Port Adelaide win their match against Brisbane (and finish on top of the ladder) and Collingwood win against the Western Bulldogs, Adelaide may throw its match against Fremantle, by a calculable amount, so that they finish in fourth position," he said.

"In this case they would play Port Adelaide in the first round of the finals, effectively at their own home ground, instead of having to travel to the Gabba to play Brisbane.

You wouldn't put anything past those dirty Crows, I tell you.

2002-08-30T02:14:00.000+10:00

Ubersportingpundit's infamous footy preview for Round 22 can be found here.

2002-08-29T16:20:00.000+10:00

WELCOME TO FINALS FEVER

Welcome to One Blog In September, your official blog spot for the AFL finals action. We hope to be bringing you all the news, views and morning-after spews of the September action from across this wide brown land.

With just one round of home and way footy left, Brisbane and Port Adelaide are shaping as favourites to duke it out on the hallowed MCG turf on that one day in September, as Mike Brady once sang. As coincidence would have it, they play each other this weekend in a Grand Final preview blockbuster from AAMI Stadium in Adelaide. No doubt it will be one to watch.

At the other end of the top eight, a number of crucial games will decide the final shape of this year's finals. West Coast and Hawthorn, sitting ninth and tenth respectively, must consider themselves outside chances of playing beyond this week.

West Coast travel to the national capital to take on the Kangaroos in what looms as the key encounter of the weekend af far as determining finals positions goes. The Eagles have won just one game away from Subiaco Oval all season, ensuring the trip to Manuka will be a stern test. The Kangaroos are surely favourites, despite missing hardman Byron Pickett through suspension.

Friday night's blockbuster at Colonial Stadium pits a woefully inconsistent Hawthorn against a wobbly-looking Geelong. Who takes this one is anyone's guess. Will the Hawks come to play? Have Mark Thompson's Kittens run out of legs?

We await a cracking Round 22 with anticipation. Who will get up to fight another week? And who will be found throwing up in the gutter at 10pm on Mad Monday night?

Stay tuned to One Blog In September for all your finals analysis, and hope you enjoy it. We will!